contentment

lying down together and gazing into each other's eyes, talking about our past and planning our future, this is what i've always dreamed of.
but will all these change? will you revert back to normal, and take me for granted again if i forgive you? will it give you a chance to hurt me again?
i am starting from point zero again, learning to forgive and learning to trust, learning to love again. baby steps, right?
I'll never want to leave you, it's just that the pain and anger takes over sometimes so much i just want to leave you behind and walk away. but then i'd recall how you cried and begged me to stay, how broken you are and i know myself- i'd return to you in a word.
i just am tired of being taken for granted, i want to enjoy being felt like someone is really terrified of losing me, because i'm afraid it will all come to a stop once i forgive. I don't want the mentions to stop, I don't want the words to stop.
I love you, please give me time. but meantime please do not stop trying...