everyday with you is splendid, i have always enjoyed every waking moment with you. but today was exceptionally great, it was as if i finally could see us going somewhere, and i could be all i ever want- myself in front of you and i am not afraid you'd love me any less.
why did it take us so long to reach here, to feel as if we are really one now...?
why do people only start cherishing when something has changed and they realised that they may lose whatever they have at hand...?
I spent the whole time looking for answers, i spent my whole life finding what i really want. and i found them in your eyes today. today i finally had the courage to look back into someone's eyes for a really long time. I see what i had always wanted in front of me, i realise he's the answer to all i'll ever need in my life.
and the moment i saw the priceless smile on your face when you told me you were imagining our future wedding together, depicting the actual scene, i never felt more loved at that point of time. I felt like the most amazing man on earth have accepted me, accepted and acknowledged his love for me, sadly through his almost loss of me.
I see the pain in his eyes when i forced him to face the fear of losing me, losing us and i couldn't bear to see it because i finally felt someone actually being afraid to lose me in their life, i never felt more important then, than ever in my whole life.
this feeling is beyond perfect, when we gaze at each other as if there were only the two of us there and then.
I truly felt like a couple today, I could at last, sense that he was afraid to lose me, that he was willing to go anywhere and do anything for me even quitting smoking.
I cannot do without him, neither can he. but will all these feelings and emotions vanish when i give him forgiveness?
when will the overwhelming feeling of betrayal go away whenever i go back to think about what happened?
when will i truly open my heart and bring myself to forgive this boy i love so much?
I need time. I need answers.
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