Monday, December 22, 2014
Time needs to slow down
Finally, my sis found her Mr. Right!!!
Surprise success, cannot wait for the wedding next year :)
KL on christmas all the way till 29th, BKK trip next year 30th Jan.
My travelling and getaway plans are going well so far, Taipei & Korea soon!!!
Feels good to be able to afford all these with my own money that I have earned, happy that I can afford to bring the family out for nice meals once in awhile. Spent a bomb on xmas gifts this year, probably bought about 50 presents? LOL. #thinkiveryrich #AWSbonusmeiyoule T_T
But it's okay, I'll do it just once hahahaha. Love seeing people happy with the presents I got them, cannot wait to give them out! #crazy
Life's been not bad lately. Been in this job for 6 months, not a very long time but I see myself settling down slowly but surely. Got to be more mature and do this.
Have to remind myself to spend more time with family and the mother. Boyfriend have to come second!!!!!!!
2015 wishlist:
1) LOSE THE DAMN WEIGHT I GAINED
2) LOSE EVEN MORE THAN THE WEIGHT BEFORE
3) GROW TALLER (I think... this is quite impossible already.)
4) To spend more time with my family
5) Grow and mature in my job, increase my sense of responsibility
6) Improve relationships with my colleagues
7) Find time for my friends........
8) Distance myself from my boyf LOL
9) Save more money, STOP SPENDING UNNECESSARILY.
- Goal: at least 5K in my bank UNTOUCHED by end of 2015. (excluded all spendings)
- 3.4K UNTOUCHED in OCBC joint Savings account by end of 2015
10) Go on trips, Taipei & Korea especially.
11) Reduce reliance and usage of contact lenses (this year I've had too many eye infections, I think this is quite the warning from my eyes and body that I need to stop/reduce)
12) Get a IP6(s) for self by March
13) Clear ALL my damn debts with the banks by end of 2015 (except CPF education funds)
14) Get a second tattoo on my back
15) Kick the habit of biting my nails
16) Be healthier! (more fruits, exercise and vitamins!)
17) Gain more confidence about self (after #1/#2 are completed, self esteem at the lowest after I gained weight FML)
Okay I think this is the rough list. I mean there are a lot other small trivial stuffs I wish to have / complete but I am too lazy to think and list them ALL down. So these are the few important ones, especially on saving money, clearing my debts and spending more time with family.
Shall take my leave, probably be back a month later HAHAHA realised my posts are all /generally/ one month apart.
Severe lack of updates on this platform but who still reads this anyway?!
my Dayre is updated every single day though hahaha! :X
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows
Mum called us together to discuss about her will last night. I dread it. I dread thinking about what is going to happen. Because I can never bring myself to accept it.
And my sis shared this photo. How apt.
We know, we know that the illness my mum has is way too advanced by the time it was discovered. We all know that one day, she may succumb to it, and leave us.
How it pains me to type that.
I know I have to be strong, and face the fact that things happen in life. But I'm sorry, I just don't think I can ever, ever handle you being gone from my life entirely. I shudder at even the mere thought of it.
You're my mother, my father, my friend, my family, my everything. I know you have been strong for us all this while, and you want us to handle this like brave children. But I cannot, I just cannot.
I love you too much, to let you go. And I know that you're also afraid of what's to come. From the breakdown you had in front of the doctor last week, till those that you have been through from time to time for the past 1 year plus.... You have been so fighting this so well, for us.
I'm sorry I still hold on to hope that you'll be fine and well again, in time to come. I just have no idea how we are going to cope should you leave.
Talking about the will and distribution of the flat and money last night, I just want to hug you and tell you. I don't want your money, I'm sorry I have been this bad, I'm sorry but can you please stay and not leave us behind?
Can I be wilful for the last time?
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Drunk and in love
I post everyday on dayre instead: http://dayre.me/weaveinfaith
Ever since the boyf began his army, I have realised how precious time is to both of us. The weekends which we always took for granted, now seemed so much more important to us. But despite the lesser time together, we have learnt to cherish each other more.
The arguments have lessened, the quarrels have ceased to even exist.
We love, we laugh, we kiss, we fight, we make up.
This relationship has made me seen so much more than I thought it would. And I have to thank the one and only boy who made it possible, the one who makes NS seem like nothing to our relationship.
I know many people say, in a way or another, the boy entering army will impact the relationship between the two. I will admit, it does.
Time comes when I need him, and he's never here by my side. And when he needs me at his lowest in camp, I cannot be there.
Sometimes I feel like this cannot go on, sometimes I feel like this may be the end.
But he keeps pulling me along forward, holding my hands with his, making me see how much more we can be once we get past this phase. And this motivates me to let go of the present and anticipate our future together.
Thank you baby. I cannot never, ever thank God enough for allowing us to meet. For us to know each other. For us to fall in love. For you to love me more than anyone ever did.

I love you, and I will hold on no matter how tough, to our forever and always x
Ever since the boyf began his army, I have realised how precious time is to both of us. The weekends which we always took for granted, now seemed so much more important to us. But despite the lesser time together, we have learnt to cherish each other more.
The arguments have lessened, the quarrels have ceased to even exist.
We love, we laugh, we kiss, we fight, we make up.
This relationship has made me seen so much more than I thought it would. And I have to thank the one and only boy who made it possible, the one who makes NS seem like nothing to our relationship.
I know many people say, in a way or another, the boy entering army will impact the relationship between the two. I will admit, it does.
Time comes when I need him, and he's never here by my side. And when he needs me at his lowest in camp, I cannot be there.
Sometimes I feel like this cannot go on, sometimes I feel like this may be the end.
But he keeps pulling me along forward, holding my hands with his, making me see how much more we can be once we get past this phase. And this motivates me to let go of the present and anticipate our future together.
Thank you baby. I cannot never, ever thank God enough for allowing us to meet. For us to know each other. For us to fall in love. For you to love me more than anyone ever did.
I love you, and I will hold on no matter how tough, to our forever and always x
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
The start of having a NS Boyf - 11 June' 14
Woke up around 9am this morning and headed to Pasir Ris to have Mac breakfast with aunt lyekuen, wilson and uncle wawa who came especially down to see bby to the ferry terminal. with me were Kristie and Mummy Oh!
the whole night before we were so clingy, looking at each other nonstop. and the dreaded morning feels so long and grueling...
anyhoo. got separated just when we got to Tekong island for him to do admin stuff like exchange IC for his new 11B, get his tags etc. we were shown around on a short tour to their bunks, canteen, showroom while they were away.
next we were ushered to the main auditorium for speech and oath-taking by the boys. then came lunch time at their cookhouse with the boy. I was so eager to see him again despite just a short less than 1 hour separation, and I spotted him long ago from the backs of all the recruits once we entered the auditorium.
meh, didn't want time to pass. but I couldn't do much about it. soon they called for everyone to the parade square, and unknowingly (bc the crowd was blocking) we didnt know it was time for the recruits to fall in. gave him a hug :( and off he goes.
rest of day was redundant (sry because nothing feels the same knowing he's inside) wondering all the time what he was doing. Mummy Oh received a call from him while I was showering, omg I rushed out quickly and took over the phone and was told it was just a short call instructed by his sgts, and he will call later.
alas, his call 1 hour later only gave us... 8 minutes to talk. it was supposed to be 20 minutes. but I could hear officers shouting in the bg halfway when I was telling him sth that it's lights off time. :(
texted a little, felt so distant from him even if it was only half a day. he surprised me with another short call (lesser than a min) and told me he couldn't take it he had to hear my voice agn. sweet thing that melted my heart. who can do this to me even after being tgt for almost 2 years? only him.
anyway, have to stay over his place to tc of Boyce because Mummy Oh is leaving for Penang straight the next day for 3D2N and he has to have someone to take care of him. *points to myself*
and I don't know if it is a right decision to do so, because being in the living room is still fine. but once I am in his room (like now), I broke down and cried.
useless eh? I know I know, like what's the big deal. he's just serving ns.
but... for the longest time ever, we have almost been spending every day tgt thats why it feels so painful to be apart rn. (and yes we're almost like living tgt bc rebellious me has been staying over). every morning he's the first I see, every night he's the last before I shut my eyes. and everyone ard us knows how we are always tgt, and meeting either of us came in a pair, buy 1 free 1 mode.
suddenly my favourite place became somewhere I dreaded and didn't want to be at. because everything here reminds me of him, it reeks and feels like him. everything is here, yet he isn't. it feels so empty its engulfing me, it feels so void its scary.
all of a sudden, there's no one around to tease Boyce with me on the bed, no one to spam-spray the dettol air freshener (and get scolded by me), no one to watch and laugh along to RM tgt, no one to annoyingly off the fan/aircon early bc he's cold and I feel warm, no one to be munching on snacks non-stop late at night beside me, no one to sit beside me on his phone/laptop either watching his A New Leaf/Doctor Stranger/Marvel Agents of SHIELD or shopping on aliexpress/groupon/qoo10 for his gadgets and deals, no one whos always angry at the falling stuck-on multi-plug at the study table, no one here to snatch the baby pillow with me. I don't like being here without you.
it feels so weird to not have someone to text, to tell him what I feel, what I am doing all the time. I mean, I still have the same someone. but the texts get no replies, because you're busy, or short brushed off replies because I know you would not have the time to view through and respond to every single small shit I told you about.
I fear for the distance between us to widen because of the lack of time and understanding sigh pie.
I miss you, I hope you know you're always on my mind. And your worries of me running away are totally un-needed at all. I know you can do this, I know you will get through it coming out as a stronger man. Hang in there.
the whole night before we were so clingy, looking at each other nonstop. and the dreaded morning feels so long and grueling...
anyhoo. got separated just when we got to Tekong island for him to do admin stuff like exchange IC for his new 11B, get his tags etc. we were shown around on a short tour to their bunks, canteen, showroom while they were away.
next we were ushered to the main auditorium for speech and oath-taking by the boys. then came lunch time at their cookhouse with the boy. I was so eager to see him again despite just a short less than 1 hour separation, and I spotted him long ago from the backs of all the recruits once we entered the auditorium.
meh, didn't want time to pass. but I couldn't do much about it. soon they called for everyone to the parade square, and unknowingly (bc the crowd was blocking) we didnt know it was time for the recruits to fall in. gave him a hug :( and off he goes.
rest of day was redundant (sry because nothing feels the same knowing he's inside) wondering all the time what he was doing. Mummy Oh received a call from him while I was showering, omg I rushed out quickly and took over the phone and was told it was just a short call instructed by his sgts, and he will call later.
alas, his call 1 hour later only gave us... 8 minutes to talk. it was supposed to be 20 minutes. but I could hear officers shouting in the bg halfway when I was telling him sth that it's lights off time. :(
texted a little, felt so distant from him even if it was only half a day. he surprised me with another short call (lesser than a min) and told me he couldn't take it he had to hear my voice agn. sweet thing that melted my heart. who can do this to me even after being tgt for almost 2 years? only him.
anyway, have to stay over his place to tc of Boyce because Mummy Oh is leaving for Penang straight the next day for 3D2N and he has to have someone to take care of him. *points to myself*
and I don't know if it is a right decision to do so, because being in the living room is still fine. but once I am in his room (like now), I broke down and cried.
useless eh? I know I know, like what's the big deal. he's just serving ns.
but... for the longest time ever, we have almost been spending every day tgt thats why it feels so painful to be apart rn. (and yes we're almost like living tgt bc rebellious me has been staying over). every morning he's the first I see, every night he's the last before I shut my eyes. and everyone ard us knows how we are always tgt, and meeting either of us came in a pair, buy 1 free 1 mode.
suddenly my favourite place became somewhere I dreaded and didn't want to be at. because everything here reminds me of him, it reeks and feels like him. everything is here, yet he isn't. it feels so empty its engulfing me, it feels so void its scary.
all of a sudden, there's no one around to tease Boyce with me on the bed, no one to spam-spray the dettol air freshener (and get scolded by me), no one to watch and laugh along to RM tgt, no one to annoyingly off the fan/aircon early bc he's cold and I feel warm, no one to be munching on snacks non-stop late at night beside me, no one to sit beside me on his phone/laptop either watching his A New Leaf/Doctor Stranger/Marvel Agents of SHIELD or shopping on aliexpress/groupon/qoo10 for his gadgets and deals, no one whos always angry at the falling stuck-on multi-plug at the study table, no one here to snatch the baby pillow with me. I don't like being here without you.
it feels so weird to not have someone to text, to tell him what I feel, what I am doing all the time. I mean, I still have the same someone. but the texts get no replies, because you're busy, or short brushed off replies because I know you would not have the time to view through and respond to every single small shit I told you about.
I fear for the distance between us to widen because of the lack of time and understanding sigh pie.
I miss you, I hope you know you're always on my mind. And your worries of me running away are totally un-needed at all. I know you can do this, I know you will get through it coming out as a stronger man. Hang in there.
I cannot wait to see you x
unknowingly, I went to view through our videos tgt, or of you. The ache I feel when I see his smiles, and cheeky stuff he did. and then I realise how much you have been trying to fit in with me, how much efforts you have been putting in just to earn a smile from me, but all I responded was a poker face, or pushed you away with my words.
perhaps this phase was meant to let us see clearly who and what in our life, and for us to grow stronger mentally. at least for me, I see it clearer now. only half a day has gone by, and I feel like this shit is too tough to go through, how am I to finish this torturous 2 years?
I am so whiny, so clingy I mock myself. but who's to say being in love doesn't make you a fool?
perhaps this is just the beginning, it's definitely going to be difficult, but I will (must) get better, we will get through this. I just need things and friends to occupy my time and mind. probably it's just made worse with my free time this 2 weeks till my work commences on a new note. :(... so let me just mope around this 2 weeks before I sort out my life, and work harder for our future tgt.
it just started raining and you're not here. it was always our fav kind of night to sleep in.
they say the first night is difficult for the new recruit to fall asleep. I say it's me, who is going to be insomniac tonight.
perhaps this phase was meant to let us see clearly who and what in our life, and for us to grow stronger mentally. at least for me, I see it clearer now. only half a day has gone by, and I feel like this shit is too tough to go through, how am I to finish this torturous 2 years?
I am so whiny, so clingy I mock myself. but who's to say being in love doesn't make you a fool?
perhaps this is just the beginning, it's definitely going to be difficult, but I will (must) get better, we will get through this. I just need things and friends to occupy my time and mind. probably it's just made worse with my free time this 2 weeks till my work commences on a new note. :(... so let me just mope around this 2 weeks before I sort out my life, and work harder for our future tgt.
it just started raining and you're not here. it was always our fav kind of night to sleep in.
they say the first night is difficult for the new recruit to fall asleep. I say it's me, who is going to be insomniac tonight.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
Small gestures big love
Short trip to KL over long weekend
Great trip, lovable people
But reality sets in when I'm back
Not in the least bit of mood for work damn
(And the thought of boyf entering army soon just sets me back even more sighhhhh)
No more happy lazy weekdays together
Let's just hope we get pass this awful period
Day 1 of 28
This detox tea is skinnymint btw
Many raves online esp on instagram
So thought to give it a go since i've been indulging waaaaaay too much :x

And this is just me posing with my new bottle that mumsie washed and filled up for me to bring to work
Little gesture, big love x
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
沉默,承诺
有些事情我不说不代表我同意
我沉默不等于我接受
我只是不想说、也懒得说了
反正再怎么说,怎么吵
也是回到原点
如果你真心想改
如果你真的知道我的心
你就不会一次又一次的忘了你答应过我的事
当初的约定也是你自己决定要做的
如今不断的找理由,找借口改变规则改变原本约定的一切的还是你
我能够说什么?
生气
伤心
最大应该是厌倦和失望吧
只能无奈的告诉你
如果知道做不到
就不要轻易的许下承诺
因为我会很认真的看待你说过的话
我会把它当真、真的很真
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Bali Day One and Two!
DAY ONE: (24 Feb'14)
Had a morning flight on 24th feb at about 9 plus? Flight was okay, nothing outstanding happened.
Reached Bali around noon, checked in and idled in the bar lounge. Room was pretty decent and good! Worth the upgrade. Anyhoo I bought the groupon deal (which still turned out to be quite expensive), stayed at Fontana Hotel Bali, a fairly new hotel.
Anyway it was so interesting to see SO MANY placards with names in the hands of the tour guides/drivers when we exited the arrival hall. Took us long enough to find my name in the hands of our friendly tour guide, Benny! Baby even told me one of the many guides immediately held up in front of me a korean name when he walked by haha!
Dropped by a relatively famous eatery for our lunch selling their famous pressurized chicken (the bones of the chicken can be eaten!) Had another dish which had fluffy crispy thingy wrapped around fish meat, very yummy! But we couldn't finish because we had breakfast at the airport and the boy even had nasi lemak onboard haha!
Got SIM card for the samsung tab, and off we went to the hotel. Friendly staff!
Anyway it was so interesting to see SO MANY placards with names in the hands of the tour guides/drivers when we exited the arrival hall. Took us long enough to find my name in the hands of our friendly tour guide, Benny! Baby even told me one of the many guides immediately held up in front of me a korean name when he walked by haha!
Dropped by a relatively famous eatery for our lunch selling their famous pressurized chicken (the bones of the chicken can be eaten!) Had another dish which had fluffy crispy thingy wrapped around fish meat, very yummy! But we couldn't finish because we had breakfast at the airport and the boy even had nasi lemak onboard haha!
Got SIM card for the samsung tab, and off we went to the hotel. Friendly staff!

Rested awhile and walked to Krishna Oleh Oleh which was a gigantic sounveir/snacks shop to get some nonsensical stuffs as well as did black Henna me on my hand and him on his arm!
then to Carrefour to grab some necesscities and more snacks!
Slept early because we had to wake up super early for our full day tour the next day!
DAY TWO: (25 Feb'14)
Had buffet breakfast at hotel which was a spread, love their egg benedict and omelettes! @.@
Slept early because we had to wake up super early for our full day tour the next day!
DAY TWO: (25 Feb'14)
Had buffet breakfast at hotel which was a spread, love their egg benedict and omelettes! @.@

Off we go for our day tour!
Went on a hour long ride to watch a traditional dance (of Barong) at Ubud, lasted about a hour. Meh, it was interesting but maybe not to our taste. Boy and I looked at each other, knowing we were both bored to the core but it was rude to leave halfway so we stayed. Next place was the silver craft and jewellery place! Nothing caught my eye and we left after walking one round around the shop. Skipped the woodcraft since we foresee we would buy nothing there so we headed to our main attraction for the day as well as lunch!
Mount Kintamani!The view smacked right in front of us was amazing and breathtaking while we had our buffet lunch (which was.... alright, not impressive though.)
Mount Kintamani!The view smacked right in front of us was amazing and breathtaking while we had our buffet lunch (which was.... alright, not impressive though.)
Look at this! It was cooling and almost as if we had a hugeass TV right in front of us presenting this sight!
The little villages below us!
The yumtum tuna satay! :3 melts in your mouth!
Ikr baby's hair is shaped like a piece of poop /_\
Lake Batur beside it!
Made our way downhill which was raining when we left (lucky we caught the view before the rain came!)
But anyway like Benny told us, by the time we reached the bottom of the mountains, it was not raining anymore haha! Headed to the coffee plantation as I requested for it (Heh, did quite some research on Bali and the areas we will be in before the trip ok, don't play play!)
This is the famous Luwak cat that produces quality coffee beans extracted from its poop (yeap)!
Sat down for some coffee sampling which were all FOC except for the Luwak coffee that cost us 50,000RP! (approx SGD$5 :O)
Luwak coffee in the making! This device, Benny told us is so expensive! (probably 1 Mil RP???)
Had a nice chat with the worker and Benny there talking about Sg and Bali etc, while enjoying our coffee(s)!
The day tour was supposed to end here, it was probably 3-4PM by then, but we decided to pay another 100,000RP for petrol to Benny who suggested for us to head to Uluwatu for the sunset view and Jimbaran Bay for the beachside seafood dinner!
This was cheaper than if we paid the original price... which would be two separate tours. So we decided to go ahead with it!
On our way to Uluwatu Temple~
I was so excited! Research on the place showed me that the sunset would be gorgeous!
And I was not in the least bit disappointed! The view was fantastic!
Anyway side story, when we just arrived after buying bananas and putting on the sarongs (for me it was just a yellow fabric belt since I was in pants but females in shorts would have to put on the sarong to cover legs out of respect for the temple) We were heading to the toilet where we saw monkeys! So I gave one to one of them there (there were not too many monkeys as it was evening time and most were fed full and out in the jungle already). Happily walked away and when we came back, Baby wanted to do the same. So he gave one to the monkey, and it finished the banana so quickly!
Hence he decided to give another but was too slow in getting the banana out of the plastic bag so the monkey grabbed the whole bag of bananas LOL!
Benny already told us beforehand never to try taking back what we have given the monkeys, for they would get aggressive and try to attack us.
Warned the boy but ofc out of instinct Baby reached out to try getting back the bag of bananas and was greeted with the monkey baring its teeth and hissing at us hahahaha! such an amusing sight and there you go, our interesting banana and monkey story. All bananas gone before we even enter the area.
Greedy monkey with a whole bag of bananas!
Walked around to get a good spot for photos, and it was so hot standing in front of the sun lol but for the view we must tahan!
Monkeys around while waiting, I took so many photos because I was so amused and intrigued by them. Babylove says I must be interested because I am one of them (born in year of Monkey)!
Family of monkeys!
Baby monkeys! SO CUTE!
Babyl looks bad here so I willl kindly erase him out, but I must upload this because look at the monkey lol.
And this was what we were waiting for! Too gorgeous!
This was proudly by the boy who keeps telling me he captured the point where the sun touches the horizon.
After this was to Jimbaran Bay for our seafood dinner, another hour ride~
With the seabreeze and waves, life.
Then these 3 (one is not seen) dogs and puppies came by beside me when they saw the waiter serving us our first dish! They were so cute! Not aggressive nor pushy-for-food omg aww. They even stood up by me and sat by me waiting. Too cute too adorbs. *v*
I forgot which restaurant we went to, because theres a whole stretch of many cafes and restaurants along the beach. The food was decent, quite nice actually! I think it depends on which one you chose to dine in :)
Our spread! There were clams, calamari, prawns, fish and crabs! Ofc we couldn't finish all! This cost us about... 1 Mil RP after the GST and extra charges. Almost a $100. :/ But for the view and atmosphere I think it was... still okay?
Took back the crabs and fish to the hotel (which we ended up not eating anyway LOL)
Along the way these musicians came by, and Babyl got them to sing a really nice and romantic song (I think it was Unchained Melody). Even video-ed it down, but too embarrassed because I was giggling in embarrassment. The mood was really good tho, baby even sang along and to me ♥
Back to the hotel after that, had a really good and fruitful day out.
Behind the scenes- the boy applying medicine and gauze to his knee wound which he got about 1-2 weeks before the trip boo.
We were actually due to stay 3D2N only meaning after this day we were to leave at 5plus the next day but the first day we arrived at the hotel, we loved the place and Bali too much so we hastily decided to prolong our stay by another 2 nights! Great (though expensive) decision because 3 days not enough to explore Bali!
Day 3, 4 and 5 to go. But they were less time spent outside compared to the long day 2!
We had a little adventure too! Shall separate the posts now! teehee update another time about the remaining days :)
How do you run from what's inside your head?
This struggle doesn't make sense and none of the pieces seem to fit. But you're here with breath in your lungs and you've survived. And that's more powerful than any struggle you could come up against.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Friendships
Turning 22 this year, I became nolstagic and went on a search for photos and memories of the past, regardless if it is sec school, poly, post poly etc
I saw the genuine smiles on our faces
Unknowingly I began to smile along
But I know now, nothing can salvage our friendships anymore
Because I was the one who betrayed the trust, I was the one who let myself drift away, I allowed myself to breach and hurt my friends
I singlehandedly destroyed my friendships
I am not a good friend
Never was, I am still not
I do not express nor put in efforts too much
I'm scared of people leaving
Yes I know its all just bullshit excuses
But to this group of friends whom I spent more than half of my poly life with
To this people whom I used to call my clique
I am sorry
I really am
The times and days with you guys had been one of the best throughout my entire life
I do not blame you all for not caring anymore
I am angry at myself for doing what I did
For letting myself ruin the friendships
I regret
But there's nothing I can do anymore.
I know maybe none of you may even chance upon this apology post
I'm sorry I do not have the courage to say it to you in the face/through other means
But I really am so sorry.
I miss those times.
I miss the us then
I miss the me back then
I miss.. You all.
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