The start of having a NS Boyf - 11 June' 14

Woke up around 9am this morning and headed to Pasir Ris to have Mac breakfast with aunt lyekuen, wilson and uncle wawa who came especially down to see bby to the ferry terminal. with me were Kristie and Mummy Oh!
the whole night before we were so clingy, looking at each other nonstop. and the dreaded morning feels so long and grueling...
anyhoo. got separated just when we got to Tekong island for him to do admin stuff like exchange IC for his new 11B, get his tags etc. we were shown around on a short tour to their bunks, canteen, showroom while they were away.
next we were ushered to the main auditorium for speech and oath-taking by the boys. then came lunch time at their cookhouse with the boy. I was so eager to see him again despite just a short less than 1 hour separation, and I spotted him long ago from the backs of all the recruits once we entered the auditorium.
meh, didn't want time to pass. but I couldn't do much about it. soon they called for everyone to the parade square, and unknowingly (bc the crowd was blocking) we didnt know it was time for the recruits to fall in. gave him a hug :( and off he goes.
rest of day was redundant (sry because nothing feels the same knowing he's inside) wondering all the time what he was doing. Mummy Oh received a call from him while I was showering, omg I rushed out quickly and took over the phone and was told it was just a short call instructed by his sgts, and he will call later.
alas, his call 1 hour later only gave us... 8 minutes to talk. it was supposed to be 20 minutes. but I could hear officers shouting in the bg halfway when I was telling him sth that it's lights off time. :(
texted a little, felt so distant from him even if it was only half a day. he surprised me with another short call (lesser than a min) and told me he couldn't take it he had to hear my voice agn. sweet thing that melted my heart. who can do this to me even after being tgt for almost 2 years? only him.
anyway, have to stay over his place to tc of Boyce because Mummy Oh is leaving for Penang straight the next day for 3D2N and he has to have someone to take care of him. *points to myself*
and I don't know if it is a right decision to do so, because being in the living room is still fine. but once I am in his room (like now), I broke down and cried.
useless eh? I know I know, like what's the big deal. he's just serving ns.
but... for the longest time ever, we have almost been spending every day tgt thats why it feels so painful to be apart rn. (and yes we're almost like living tgt bc rebellious me has been staying over). every morning he's the first I see, every night he's the last before I shut my eyes. and everyone ard us knows how we are always tgt, and meeting either of us came in a pair, buy 1 free 1 mode.
suddenly my favourite place became somewhere I dreaded and didn't want to be at. because everything here reminds me of him, it reeks and feels like him. everything is here, yet he isn't. it feels so empty its engulfing me, it feels so void its scary. 
all of a sudden, there's no one around to tease Boyce with me on the bed, no one to spam-spray the dettol air freshener (and get scolded by me), no one to watch and laugh along to RM tgt, no one to annoyingly off the fan/aircon early bc he's cold and I feel warm, no one to be munching on snacks non-stop late at night beside me, no one to sit beside me on his phone/laptop either watching his A New Leaf/Doctor Stranger/Marvel Agents of SHIELD or shopping on aliexpress/groupon/qoo10 for his gadgets and deals, no one whos always angry at the falling stuck-on multi-plug at the study table, no one here to snatch the baby pillow with me. I don't like being here without you.

it feels so weird to not have someone to text, to tell him what I feel, what I am doing all the time. I mean, I still have the same someone. but the texts get no replies, because you're busy, or short brushed off replies because I know you would not have the time to view through and respond to every single small shit I told you about.
I fear for the distance between us to widen because of the lack of time and understanding sigh pie.
I miss you, I hope you know you're always on my mind. And your worries of me running away are totally un-needed at all. I know you can do this, I know you will get through it coming out as a stronger man. Hang in there. 

I cannot wait to see you x 

unknowingly, I went to view through our videos tgt, or of you. The ache I feel when I see his smiles, and cheeky stuff he did. and then I realise how much you have been trying to fit in with me, how much efforts you have been putting in just to earn a smile from me, but all I responded was a poker face, or pushed you away with my words.

perhaps this phase was meant to let us see clearly who and what in our life, and for us to grow stronger mentally. at least for me, I see it clearer now. only half a day has gone by, and I feel like this shit is too tough to go through, how am I to finish this torturous 2 years?
I am so whiny, so clingy I mock myself. but who's to say being in love doesn't make you a fool?
perhaps this is just the beginning, it's definitely going to be difficult, but I will (must) get better, we will get through this. I just need things and friends to occupy my time and mind. probably it's just made worse with my free time this 2 weeks till my work commences on a new note. :(... so let me just mope around this 2 weeks before I sort out my life, and work harder for our future tgt.

it just started raining and you're not here. it was always our fav kind of night to sleep in.
they say the first night is difficult for the new recruit to fall asleep. I say it's me, who is going to be insomniac tonight.