Past

Thinking about the past makes me bittersweet, how we came across and beyond everything to get to where we are, yet how much pain i had to withstand before you realised what you had.
Sometimes i grow afraid of the unknown future, because i can never picture a future without you, or at least for now. Its too bleak, i cannot even imagine it.
I have you now, and whenever you tell me the reasons why it was me you chose makes me contented, yet puzzled as to why did those bad things happen then, what went through your mind?
I wouldnt deny that i loved you alot, i did so much for you, i got hurt i stayed, i did everything i could for you but you couldnt see me then, yet you could now see the worse me, the me whos now putting in less than half the efforts i had and i should.
Bizzare isn't it, its precisely these kind of thoughts that push me further away from reality, from what i have now, from you, its these kind of thoughts that sets about the insecurity in my mind, fearing to lose grip of anything i hold dear to me now.
Oh what have you done to me, you're my sweetest mistake.