Forgiveness

I miss many things

But I know I'll regret and miss more if I let go of whatever I have now

So I want to keep holding on

But it gets so tiring

Its so exhausting to keep it going

I want to, I need to have you with me

However sometimes things get hard

I don't blame you nor anyone for what I am in

Sometimes I wonder if I lost some, or gained more being in this

The thought of having you around is impossible to resist

And I know it is worth it and it will be worth it if I fight on

But it really gets too hard sometimes

It all crumbles down to me

I know I am fortunate to have you, someone who's much more tolerant and thoughtful compared to the

Other guys around me

Times like this where I feel the need to just quieten down and think it through

Can I live with it?

What's done is done

What's hurt is hurt

You can expect forgiveness but, really forgetting it does not come along so easily

We keep going around in circles

Fighting about the same issue, then settling down then arguing about the same point again

Theres no solution to this

I appreciate the change, I really do

But really, whats done's done.

You cannot blame me for remembering, I cannot also blame the present you who's trying

Your changes do make things better, but they do not make the problem and issue disappear

And its something that's never gonna be changed

All that can be done for this is regret

And even regrets alone cannot help to solve this root of the problem

You see, thats the scary part about making a mistake 

There's no turning back

You can make things better, you're doing it

But there'll always be a scar there

Its impossible for you to make even the scar to disappear

How do you solve a question which doesn't have a solution? 

Nevermind, pardon me. 

There're weak moments like these

it's just that I feel alone, so alone without you