Questions

How do you restart as strangers? How do we stay as friends? How do we continue as lovers? 

My decision brought us to where we were but I still firmly believe we will make it through, otherwise if it was not meant to be it will not be. 

What you have said has however let me understood that whatever you're doing have chosen to let us fade into total nothingness. How do you even restart from zero? How do you even let go completely which you didn't before? 

心痛

It's indeed heartbreaking to know how much people can change in the blink of an eye.

It hurts to see the attitude change and words but I have to live with it and my decision, I still believe. 

In the meantime I will keep my tears down and keep moving forward no matter the fear of the unknown future.

I miss us.

Because I cannot get back to sleep

so pretty HAHAHAHA

Post surgery, not much swelling yet, but as I am typing now my right face is ballooned up lol

It's 5plus AM and i just woke up from my sleep after taking the painkillers because the ache was too much to bear earlier. The bleeding has calmed down but when the pain hits I feel like dying. Many people ask then how come I want to put myself through this? like pay to get tortured. lol man you all dont know how low of a self esteem I have... and my teeth plays such a big part in it, I don't even dare to smile/laugh with my mouth open. putting on braces is probably the first big step I'm taking in the journey to find and love myself again. and if it is going to help, why not?

mummylove's birthday and she accompanied me down to the clinic despite her discomfort and fatigue, thank you.

I don't wanna hurt more people than I already have, so do not let me near your heart and life, I am in no condition for anything else.

I'm sorry I've been a wreck but I will always be one.

Truth

I don't know the right direction for now but I know it myself for the future. But if it may comes down to nothing, and we do not have it anymore, I will take some time, perhaps a long long time or even never, to get over it.

Now all I want is for us to have a nice calm talk. Drinking will not help neither or us. but as usual I cannot expect things to go my way and people to want what I want so nvm...

Dayre has been quite a huge platform for everyone to see so I thought I will bring the emotional parts away from there, in a safe haven I think I can be myself here.