4 years in and I witness the differences every day.

will what the fortune teller mentioned about my idealistic relationship come true in 3 years time? i don’t know.

i just feel that things have changed and it’s not according to what i expected nor wished.

Leap of faith

As I walked through the half-completed house, as I ponder about what I want in life, I realised I have been stopped and stagnant, rooted to the ground in my comfort zone for too long.

Yes I grew, I got what I want - a promotion. But it's not enough, because it has come to a point whereby I am getting way too comfortable in doing what I am currently good at, that it has beome a chore. And I start to see how this will never work out, with the current culture and working quality over here.

I want to leave, and be happy, happy doing what I love. Taking a leap of faith, failing and getting back up, but that is how life should be right? 

I just need courage, I just need confidence, I just need to take the fucking plunge. 

blessing in disguise

you turned out to be one of the many to make me happier than anyone else, you even make it seem so effortless to do it.

how amusing previously you were just there in my life, and we did not interact at all despite you saying you remembered every small detail about me ever since we first met. 

now, I've never been more glad we fell in love. 🐼

What is meant to be will be

I do not know where this will lead, but I hope it is for the better, moving forward as one or two.

It will grow me stronger as an individual, it will allow me to know myself better. I just have to get over letting my overthinking take over me at times; it will work out if it's meant to be.

Nevertheless, thank you for being my distraction during this time.

What's left unsaid, said it all

Everytime it happens, I realised the pain gets more bearable and the tears get lesser.

Unexpected

My heart dropped for a moment but surprisingly.... it hurt lesser than I thought it would. Maybe I felt mostly indignant.

Well I cannot say the same because once in awhile, my heart loiters.... to elsewhere too.

Moving on

Yesterday I saw some things that showed me all this is going at a speed too fast for me to comprehend.

How can one who swore never to give up but to love in a different way, end everything so swift and cruel?

How can one who used to shower you with all sorts of sweet nothings you know he meant from the bottom of his heart, now throw all these sharp words at you as if it will not hurt?

I walked away yes, I chose to end the relationship I did not deny that. But I have not let your absence affected your placement and position in my heart so how can you?